The Dodge Caliber Was an
Ahead-Of-Its-Time Shitbox-Prophecy
In which I
simultaneously praise and rip to shreds a car that unknowingly helped
create a segment
When
was the last time you thought about the Dodge Caliber? When was the
last time you saw
a Dodge Caliber? The answer to either is probably a long time, but
somehow the Neon's successor was actually ahead of its time in spite
of being largely forgotten. With SUV-inspired
styling laid over a front-wheel-drive platform and available
all-wheel-drive, widespread platform sharing, a high-performance
turbo version, and even European availability, the Caliber was a
crossover, a mini-CUV, before such was even “a thing.” And yet
it came about when America was still too caught up in wanna-be-retro
design, shoddy if not outright crappy build quality, and trying to
shake off the miserable PT Cruiser-induced hangover for the car's
engineers to create something that ever had a chance at setting the
sales figures world on fire. And still, the Caliber managed to
overcome it all, and in doing so would foreshadow many cars to
come...even if it was somewhat of a shitbox.
Let me explain...
(Follow the jump to read on)
With
a design seemingly derived from all the right and wrong parts of a
Magnum-Neon-Nitro lovechild but in a wanna-be-brawny, hard-plastic
kind of way, the Caliber certainly stood out amongst its rivals
though not necessarily in the best of ways. This translated directly
to the interior which, in typical early turn of the millennium
fashion, was equally low-rent as it was ridden with
bland-beyond-belief styling. But manage to get past this and
remember that it came about in a world when bigger was better and
people still aspired to own an H2 and it's blatantly clear how and
why it failed at the time. The Caliber tried to hide side effects
inescapable of a small car trying to look big, and also the
inevitable shortcomings shared with the corner-cutting “quality” common of this DiamlerChrysler vintage. It
was a great car when defined generally,
but fairly shitty when described specifically.
Despite this, we absolutely have to respect the Caliber.
Let me explain: for better for worse the Caliber helped to contribute
to, without knowing it would do so, the explosion of what is today's
quickest-developing and fastest-growing segment. To reiterate the
details: car platform raised slightly to accommodate
hatchback-turned-SUV-influenced appearance, available AWD,
fuel-efficient four-cylinder engines, a high-performance turbocharged
variant, platform sharing, and so on. Back when the Caliber debuted
in 2006 the crossover was just starting to develop and CUV was just a
jumble of letters. Accordingly, it was very out-of-place; it wasn't
so groundbreaking that it had to define a segment entirely on its
own, but didn't really fit into a specific category either. But jump
forward ten years and time-machine any of its would-be modern
competitors (CX-3, Countryman, HR-V, Crosstrek, Juke, etc.) back to
2006 and they'd all be equally out of place as was the little Dodge.
In creating the Caliber, Dodge helped the manufacturers recognize the
potential for a massive new market bearing a Goldilocks-esque effect
for the average American consumer: to appear big and strong but not
to have to deal with any of the side effects of being so, i.e. “have
your cake and eat it too” (and as we know, Americans love to eat
cake).
And
then we have the antithesis to the Caliber: its SRT4 counterpart, a
spiritual successor to the ever-controversial Neon bearing the same
descriptive moniker. With its still-powerful-even-in-2015
turbocharged 285 horsepower driven through torque-vectoring-free
front wheels, six-speed stick, chunky body-kit and wide fenders, it
was an insane package that never gained a huge fan-base (or sales
figures), never beat the GTI or Mazdaspeed3 it was supposed to do
battle with, and never really made a mark on the hot-hatch segment
but yet went about its ways with an I-give-no-shits attitude that was
somewhat lovable.
As if to exemplify this, the SRT4 had a boost
gauge where an HVAC vent was in non-SRT models, and if that doesn't
say 2 Fast 2
Furious-esque
hilariously mal-equipped performance model I don't know what does.
And the thing was, it actually had the balls to back it up. Maybe
not the outright speed and maybe not the handling prowess
(...definitely not the handling prowess) but if power was balls, oh
did it have balls. To make something so boring so wild and untamed,
that deserves some praise. A good vehicle, no. But an exciting one,
oh yes.
Aside from the SRT4, the Dodge Caliber simply existed at the wrong
time. And yet, its influence on modern crossovers is
extremely evident. See all those small cars that have a little
ground clearance but even less off-road ability? You can
thank the Caliber for at least a portion of that. What was an
in-between, poorly defined vehicle at the time now can be looked at
as the ancestor to many of the cars we see so much of today. I say
they should bring it back: a modern Caliber with Durango-and-Charger
lovechild styling, Renegade underpinnings, and any of the
common FCA engines could make for a great vehicle. It would even fit
Dodge's arsenal well, slotting in-between the Dart and Journey in
order to fill the gap of “gotta have it in the lineup to be a
fully-rounded brand” street-happy hatchback. And obviously it
would have to pay homage to the original, which suffered an
unfortunate, uninspired, and outright unloved life. If Dodge could
properly execute a modern Caliber it would have a good chance of
being a hit, but for now we just have to appreciate that they built
the original at all, whether that means respecting it or loving it or
hating it for bringing about an equally love/hate genre. And so, we
can declare it the least-likely vehicular prophecy in recent memory: the
Dodge Caliber. Thank you for existing...I think.
-Ross, 10/15/15
Images courtesy of Google Images
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