TEN
REASONS WHY MUSCLE CARS ARE HERE TO STAY
And
none of them start with “'Merica”
The
cliché is everywhere: “enjoy it while you can.” It's as if
being green, efficient, and environmentally responsible have fully
overthrown loud, rude, and in-your-face as the proper image you're
supposed to portray to the world. Even
Miley Cyrus is struggling to get away with acting such ways, and it's
no secret that muscle cars are the vehicular portrayal of many of
these frowned-upon traits that our politically-correct society
suggests are better pushed aside.
In turn, this puts our beloved muscle machines in grave danger; many
doubt their future entirely and from a logical standpoint things look
grim. But automotive enthusiasm isn't logical. We've all heard it
before, even straight from the mouth of James May (the “sensible
one”) in the opening conversation of Top Gear's most recent season,
when he put it bluntly: “the V8 could soon be a thing of the past.”
But I call bullshit. The most famous and storied of
enthusiast-focused vehicles are going away no quicker than the Prius
is becoming the Official Vehicle of Good Drivers. Here's why...
(Note:
For the purpose of this article, the Camaro, Mustang, and Challenger
will all be categorized as “muscle cars.” While each is
muscle-esque in its own way(s)-- and while each strays from muscle in
many ways as well-- for the sake of simplicity, they will be
categorized together.)
First,
past fuel crises couldn't kill the V8. Today, up against the
toughest standards yet, they're still alive and are stronger than
ever. While automakers disguised past fuel-efficient replacements by
shrinking the car versus doing so to the engine, a la Gremlin, modern
technology has enabled today's muscle and sports cars to exceed the
MPG numbers of some the old-time “econoboxes” that resulted from
the fuel crisis eras. High-20's MPG figures are easily achievable
with a timid right foot, and some are handily creeping into the low
30's-- territory once, and even very recently, reserved for cars with
efficiency as a high priority. Now, though it may not be filed under
“intended use,” you can eek out sufficient miles per gallon from
your “play toy” for it to still be fairly economical.
Second:
there's a future of muscle cars that burn rubber without burning gas.
The first Tesla Model S was a land-going, battery-powered rocket
ship, and now they've “launched” (ha) the P85D, featuring the
infamous “Insane Mode,” a drive setting based on Elon Musk's
desire for acceleration matching that of the McLaren F1.
Acceleration as a priority? Straight muscle car mojo, be it roaring
exhaust or whirring batteries. That kind of power in a smaller,
lighter chassis with two less doors and rear-wheel-drive would be
fan-freakin-tastic, and the potential for this to be built is proof
that a muscle car can exist in a world where being green is hip.
It's really just a matter of time before we start seeing Electric
Muscle...paging Mr. Musk...
Third,
while the typical automaker usually sells fewer halo cars than they
do any other vehicle in their catalog, the vehicular icon that
represents an entire brand is an entity wholly capable of drawing
somebody into the showroom which in turn can generate a sale of
either said halo car or, more importantly, of something beneath it.
For example, if somebody walks into a Dodge dealership to oogle their
Viper-filled fantasy and reality-laden sensibility kicks in, he can
still likely justify a Charger as his family car while keeping peace
of mind that his pride and joy shares blood with its Hellcat and
snake-bitten Dodge brethren. Halo cars create sales of the cars that
automakers actually
make money on.
In the form of muscle cars, they create prestige by giving the other
cars the company builds the image of having the same heritage as the
more “desirable” car. Brand recognition and image are both
extremely important, more so now than ever, and it all starts with
the company's most easily recognizable and distinguished car. And if
people think they're getting a piece of the fun by purchasing a
relative of a sports or muscle car, it's a win-win for the company.
The
halo car effect also incorporates itself into the CAFE-standard
ordeal; while the V8-bearers might not achieve an average efficiency
worthy of meeting the government's mandates, the high-volume sellers
are more likely to increase the company's overall average fuel
economy, allowing the parent brand to meet said standards and live to
see another day. We must not forget that vehicle manufacturing is a
business and that automakers need to sell cars to survive, and it is
impossible to do so without complying with the government's
regulations.
Fourth:
Speaking of selling cars, numbers
speak volumes: Chevy has sold nearing 500,000 Camaros since the car's
reincarnation, while Dodge has moved going on 300,000 Challengers
during its newfound life. And, needless to say, Ford has been
selling the Mustang nonstop since its introduction, with numbers just
behind the Camaro since the Chevy's 5th
generation was introduced. These high sales figures drive
(so-to-speak) and correlate to the sales of the rest of the product
line, and to that of the industry as well. And right now, the
resulting numbers are quite good.
Fifth,
the kids that will keep car culture going are the ones who embrace
muscle cars with open arms and open hearts. They're the ones eagerly
awaiting the all-new Mustang's release; they're the ones who geek out
over the Z28's lap times; and they're the ones obsessing over the
Hellcat's astronomical power figures. Car culture has changed quite
a bit since the first coming of Muscle, but if it has any chance of
survival it needs a core group of enthusiasts who still love the
rumble of eight cylinders. Likewise, with muscle car ownership
usually comes the territory of [willingly] doings modifications and
maintenance oneself, and the comparative simplicity of V8's and the
package wrapped around them makes these cars relatively easy to work
on and also relatively affordable, thus positioning them as
accessible enthusiast machines. The future lies in the hands of the
up-and-coming generation, one that appears to already be accepting of
the V8 and of muscle.
Sixth:
muscle cars are no longer the one-trick-ponies of yore. When the
original Mustang and Camaro debuted they were focused on
acceleration, an affordable price tag, and high fun-quotient. But
today, with competence tests such as autocross, time attacks, track
days (bro), and the likes, modern muscle has to be able to turn too.
As such, the automakers have obliged; enter the Camaro 1LE / Z28,
Mustang “Track Pack” / Boss 302 / GT350[R], and even the
SRT/Hellcat Challenger [and yes, Charger]. Any and all of these
cars' dynamic abilities will punch the “American cars can't handle”
guy square in the face. Even the Hellcat ran around Motor Trend's
figure-eight in the same time as the Alfa 4C, a car dedicated to
weight savings by making use of carbon fiber shell, quite contrary to
the Hellkitten's close-to 4500-pound heft. Visit a local track day
and you will undoubtedly see an assortment of each from the
Ford/Chevy/Dodge trio fighting physics in a battle against the clock.
In addition to handling prowess, these American bruisers employ some
tech that would make the early days
of NASA seem unsophisticated.
GM's Magnetic Ride Control uses magnetic particles that float in oil
to control suspension damping 1,000 times per second. Meanwhile,
even the Mustang has joined the 21st
century with the addition of Independent Rear Suspension and all the
accompanying toys to qualify it as a fully “modern car.” Then
there's Dodge, which is selling a seemingly unlimited number of fully
streetable 700+ HP monsters-- a concept which would have been
ludicrously unthinkable as recent as a decade ago, before technology
made a car with so much power “driveable.” And let's not forget
the ever-increasing number of computers fitted to every vehicle. The
bottom line is today, muscle is not only about ripping burnouts and
slaying the quarter-mile, but it's about being able to conquer
corners as well.
On
top of this, muscle cars have become genuinely good on the street.
They are truly easy to live with, and not just as in “oh yeah, it's
fine for
what it is,”
but in that they're safe, comfortable, semi-practical, reliable
vehicles. Compromises are, finally, minimal. I drive my Challenger
every day, 105 miles round trip. It's perfectly comfortable, there's
ample interior room for people to fit in the back if needed, and
better yet, even with a 5.7L V8, averaging 22 MPG is easy. It's even
seen figures as high as 29 MPG on a road trip, which was with the A/C
on full blast and a week-long vacation's worth of baggage filling the
trunk. The proof is there: more and more people are making V8, RWD
cars their daily drivers. Traction control, ESP, and other
acronym-bearing car brains also make these cars easier to drive
year-round, inclimate weather included (with the appropriate tires,
of course). Making the case for a muscle car as your only vehicle is
no longer difficult; today, it's easy to justify how you can combine
practicality and pleasure.
Se7en(th):
Thinking outside the box, there's muscle cars from all over the
world, not just from the good 'ol US of A. Mercedes represents
itself with the C63 and SLS, both of which are notorious for being
entirely overpowered versus their handling/chassis departments; Lexus
is building a coupe with a 460+ HP V8 and far too little tire; and
even Britain has pseudo-muscle in the F-Type R Coupe (the now-defunct
RWD version, at least) and some of the Aston Martin cars as well.
Broaden the spectrum to GT cars, the concept of which is largely
similar (big engine; comfort; rear-wheel-drive; effortless low-RPM
cruising; fun; etc), and there are even more options. On the flip
side, the “hottest” thing to do today is to swap a fire-breathing
V8 into a shell otherwise left to smaller means of propulsion, in
turn broadening muscle's influence if only through the hands and
minds of madness. What was once an American-only club has gone fully
international, with more entries and creations on the horizon and
each one making the competition more difficult, thus forcing
improvement in every facet. More muscle in the wide world of cars
means it's that much harder to get rid of.
Eighth:
the sound. Nothing can replace the raw, brutal, grass-roots
arrogance of a V8 engine piped through proper headers into a
not-so-muffled exhaust. Be it a V12, V10, straight-six, or turbo-4,
every engine type has a following, but none has a sound as iconic as
that of eight cylinders. Small block or big, the V8's roar is
ingrained in songs, movies, and, most importantly, minds, and it's
part of why people love muscle cars in the first place.
Ninth:
muscle cars are badass. They ooze character and personality. They
make good movie cars. They make auto shows important. They get your
attention, be it in a commercial or in a parking lot. They make
heritage and nostalgia and brand names and rivalries relevant. And
they make having a shit-ton of attitude feel like a vital part of
life. Hollywood, form over function, and competition: staples of
American society that will never, ever go away.
Tenth:
smiles. Car enthusiasm is about automotive bliss, being happy around
cars, losing oneself in the sights/sounds/feelings, making friends
(and enemies), experimenting, trying (and failing), about the grin
you get from all of the aforementioned...and, of course, the
incomparable connection between you and your car and the road and the
freedom that takes perfect form in driving. Muscle cars simply make
all of this better. That's really all there is to it. Whatever
obstacle there is people will find a way to keep muscle cars around
for they enrich lives in a way that only muscle cars can. If this
isn't reason enough as to why they're here to stay, I don't know what
is.
Despite
ever-tightening standards, times, for cars at least, are good. The
horsepower wars are swinging harder than ever. Innovation is running
wild, hand-in-hand with old-school mentality's greatest hits. Ford,
Chevy, and Dodge are fighting harder than ever to make the best cars
they can, and not just those with unnecessary amounts of horsepower
and torque. But luckily they are
focusing on those with unnecessary amounts of horsepower and torque,
and we the car people are reaping the benefits. Times are good. No,
times are great.
Perhaps the best. This is the true golden era of muscle. Muscle
cars are too iconic, too blue collar, too laugh-inducing, too
enjoyable, and too damn fun to ever go away for good. The outlook is
equally great: we're witnessing a new standard, with even better
machinery on the horizon. Muscle cars are here to stay. They've
adapted before and will have to again, but for now all we can do is
enjoy them, because it's not a matter of doing so while they're
still around-- it's a matter of enjoying them while we're
still around. Let's face the facts:
Muscle cars are here to stay.
And
if you've made it this far, go do a burnout.
-Ross, 6/2/15
Image sources: Google / myself
